It may surprise you, my lovely reader, to know that Mrs Lady Muck is not quite the socialite I ought to be. Give me a choice between a night on the tiles in vertiginous heels and a night on the sofa with the latest series of “House of Cards” and I would be slipping into my comfy Pink trackies faster than Kevin Spacey could don another beret*. Perennial party girl, I most definitely am not.
I am also a serial planner. If there’s going to be a night out, I like to sandwich it between at least two early nights, so that the kids can’t completely ruin my rare chance of a social life. They can come visit me all they want at 3am, but if I’ve got to bed early at least 2 nights out of 3, I can – just about – handle it.
Nights out also involve hair, make-up, heels, accessories and – obviously – a killer outfit. Such careful construction is not achieved in a mere 10 minutes. My husband and kids are literally banished from my bathroom and bedroom for at least one hour prior to leaving. Getting ready is practically an event in itself. Trust me, if you see anyone my age in a bar with swishy hair, a perfect manicure and rocking great shoes, you know for a fact she is One. Organised. Lady. (Or man, depending on the bar).
Recently my plans were well and truly tested with a very last-minute invitation to a fabulous awards ceremony at a hotel a mere 5 minutes away from home. My husband was already ready to go, whereas I was working an 80’s style pineapple ponytail and pyjamas, whilst wrestling the kids out of the bath.
Not unlike Clark Kent, the speed at which I discarded my comfies and donned my most appropriate awards-event-suitable dress was something for which I myself deserved a nomination. We were out of the door in 10 minutes, and had the most fantastic evening with good friends. The coconut-flavoured vodka with Sprite might not have been my greatest choice but it REALLY reminded me of nights out on Malibu and lemonade, and there was even a bit of a 90’s soundtrack to boot.
And then – two nights further on – I realised I had completed three nights out in a row! Three! That is absolutely unheard of in our house and in most of my friends’ houses. The following nights out were slightly more planned, but I am so, so proud of myself of making it! It’s like a triathlon for parents – three different venues, themes, outfits and hairstyles. Now, where’s my medal?
*I have met Kevin Spacey and he looked fabulous in his beret